Christmas Contests

As many of you know I am not a fan of Christmas music. I have listened for years about "silver bells" and "silent knights" and getting teeth for Christmas. Well I've had it! I need a song about the true spirit of Christmas. Actually I am willing even extend the song. It doesn't have to be about Christmas. It could be about any holiday at this time of year for example Chanukkah or Kwanza (especially Kwanza).
Here are the rules.

It must be original. No rewriting Jingle Bells or Little Drummer Boy.

It must be able to be performed at an elementary school so keep it clean.

I would like it to be able to be played on this website. So in other words record it.
I think Joe has the ability to do that and if you do Joe you must let Ian record.

In the spirit of Christmas I am willing to let you work together on this but if you team up you must both have to sing and play on the song.

I will give a bonus point to whoever is willing to perform the song at a venue while I am in Indiana. I will give another if brings down the house.

The point will be decided by who does a better job on the song and may be voted on by the fan of the site. However, if the song is not done together I will have the decision.

Comic point

Click on the comics to make them bigger.

Whoever wins the poll wins the point!

Vote Early, vote Often

Post your thoughts under this one for all to see.

Joe's Comic

Ian's Comic

Ian warning

Ian if I do not receive your comic in 3 days time double points to Joe.

Hogan's Heroes

For the latest challenge, our combatants put their legendary marksmanship skills to the test. Since a duel of pistols at dawn was deemed to be "too early in the morning" and "too fatal," they were challenged to another classic contest of cannon: shooting a really terrible Hulk Hogan-branded energy drink with a .22 rifle from about 50 feet away. Whoever hits their can closest to Hogan's face wins.

The Contestants:

Joe and Ian

The Targets:

In a taste test after the contest, the Hogan energy drink was judged as tasting like "some sort of shitty candy" and "like extra-sweet Mountain Dew peed out by roided up bald man whose son paralyzed a guy."

The Competition:

Joe and Ian took turns firing from the porch.

Results:

Ian's shot missed Hogan's face by about half an inch. Joe's shot, however, missed by about six feet.

THE WINNER


IAN, who gets one point for winning the contest and another bonus point because he met Hulk Hogan in real life. According to Wikipedia, Ian is the only living person on earth who met someone and later shot a bullet through their image on a can of terrible energy drink to win a stage of a screwy internet competition.

If they had been shooting at Earl Scruggs' Foggy Mountain Energy Drink (slogan: "The Pick Me Up You Need To Pick All Night!"), Joe would have gotten the bonus.

Comic Cavalcade Challenge

I was reading the greatest comic of all time. Family Circus and I was inspired (both on a hilarity level and religious level).  

Here is the challenge. 

You must make a comic that is at least 8 panels.  It can be drawn but must be scanned and sent to me.  You can also use paint or whatever art program (be aware though I have a mac and may not be able to view it.

I will judge on the following categories (in no order).

Humor

Art style

Cohesion of plot

This is worth one point.

Good luck gentlemen.