The Winner

Joe has won.  Proving that he is better than Ian in every possible way (or at least in ways that were determined by the challenges).  As a prize Joe was released from the prison cube that I had them interned in (Brown County, which kinda does look like a cube).  Joe is now free to spread his greatness  (seed) around the world.  So look out world here comes IanvJoe champ Joe.  Oh also Ian is now Joe's bitch.  Thanks for watching (reading).

Alan out!

Two New Challenges

Ian and Joe you both got an invite to join Will's NCAA bracket.  So point for you the one of you who can end up higher in the league.

Also since that will take a month,  I have a second challenge.

You must design a super hero. 

Here are the rules. 

1. No copyright theft in either your powers or your origin.  

2. No super heroes that you use to dress up as (No super-tyranny, I'm not going to point out which person this message is for, but he knows).

3. You must write powers and origin.

Good luck gentlemen.

What the world needs now is bad poems

Ok, first things first, this challenge is waaaaaay to creepy.  Second how strange that last poll was a tie.

Alright here are the poems.

First Ian's

Joe, your eyes are as blue as the skies

I want to eat you like big pizza pie

My loins are on fire

you make me perspire

I love you forever Joe, at your behest I shall be thou squire

When I look at you I melt like butter on flapjacks

I want you to clean my utensils as if you were Ajax

I'll love you forever I've never been more sure

In the language of love "je t'aime mon domestique partneur!"

Then Joe's

He laid my foundation wetly,

And it has hardened.  He keeps me,

as if a warden. His brew, bubbly

and warming, ferments by the toilet

And when he brews anew, he boils it.

If our country's new calamity engenders

concomitant bedlam,

as did its predecessor,

and spoiled paunch melts into

Fiercer hardness the world over,

And if the zombies come,

I'm not going fucking anywhere!

I'm sleeping under a blanket

Of industry and hair, I'm marching

To the call of Ian's Fearless stare,

And we will live, again

to see this place grow soft, ugly and fair 

So who wins?  Well,  I like both of them.  Ian's is a little more carnal, which is kinda surprising and disturbing.  But it also has French (or Freedom as I like to say).  Joe's is more sly, like something he wrote in high school and then slipped to Ian during study hall on Feb. 12th 1997.  Not saying he did that, just saying.   But under Ian is not where I would want to be for the Zombie wars.  

I guess I'll go about with Joe's.  Cause its paints Ian more as a manly hero which he clearly is. 

Now let us never speak of this again! 

Ian loves Joe or Joe loves Ian which ever

This is a site devoted to competition and hate.  But in the spirit of the season, let look at love.  The kind of love a room mate with cats that piss all over the carpet can show another room mate who pisses on the cat pee to reclaim his territory .  So you must write love poems to each other.  

Now these can not be sarcastic and do have to be poems (but not haiku or fucking concrete thats not poems thats a fucking picture).  

Good luck gentlemen. 

(Also Ian you can't just take one you wrote for your woman and put Joe's name in.  I'll know too cause 1) Joe's not hot 2) his name doesn't rhyme with fish or dish so   "Oh Joe, You are my one wish"  would be a dead giveaway)

Superbowl Challenge Winner

To review:

Both got Steeler's 

Ian got Cards (cause he got kicked in the head by a mule and therefore is insane).

Ian also picked the Steeler's to win.

Ian nor Joe got whatever the first song was (I don't know what it was).

Both got Born to Run

So Ian won, So Point to him. 

New Challenge soon.

Two week update and new challenge

First of all sorry for the infrequent update but hey I've been busy.

On New Years a few more points were decided.

First Joe played his song. Which I can't seem to get to work but it is good and if you want it email me or post in comments.  If not let me know so point for Joe.

Secondly,  Joe got another point for being the best at throwing little plastic darts at the TV and having them stick.  Ian was able to stick 2 of 5.  Joe stuck 4 of 5 then went on to stick 9 of 10. I wonder if it is his calling.  

Any way here is the new challenge:

The Super Bowl Quiz

First who will be in it?

Secondly: Who will win?

Thirdly:  What will The Boss open and close with?

Tie Breaker: Total score of both teams?

Submit your answers in comments. 

Also I will give both two bonus point if neither of you eats any snacks during the game and you are at someone else's house watching the game.

Good luck 

There may be a challenge between now and then too so keep your eyes open and your ears to the ground. 

 

Merry X-Mas

So Joe gets a point for winning the comic contest. The crass humor and crude drawings wins out over topical pee jokes (Take a note Leno). Also Ian said he wanted a point for Christmas. So there it is. This helps Ian maintain his slim lead. Future Contests to come this week.
Still haven't heard any Christmas songs yet.